Canonical List of Famous Last Words


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  1. "This flickering torch light is playing tricks on my eyes. It almost seemed as though that chest moved by itself."

  2. "Demogorgon."

  3. "What's the duration of this Fly spell?"

  4. "I don't understand. It should be dead by now."

  5. "Finally! I thought that troll would never die."

  6. "If we look brave and fearless, they won't attack."

  7. "I'd feel better if we had some crampons. Oh, what the hell, let's go for it."

  8. "I wouldn't worry about the thieves' guild -- they don't have a clue who did it."

  9. "Aha! So you're the [killer/spy/vampire]!"

  10. "It doesn't look very fast; we can easily swim across."

  11. "While they're fighting the dragon, I sneak around behind him and examine his hoard."

  12. "I wish we had a 10 foot pole. Oh well."

  13. "Ha ha ha! Let's put bookworms in his spell research library."

  14. "I rolled a 20. How could that be a miss?"

  15. "I've got plenty of spells; I don't need to carry a weapon."

  16. "I'm heir to the crown. They wouldn't dare!"

  17. "Don't you understand? The odds will be even. If we can't see them, they can't see us."

  18. "Who's bringing up the rear?"

  19. "It's only one wight. The others are just ghouls."

  20. "But [longbows/match locks/nuclear weapons] haven't been invented yet..."

  21. "Look, I don't care what you think of her, or her "demonic smile." She's hot to trot. So, if you'll excuse us..."

  22. "I've got better things to do than run your petty errands, your highness."

  23. "What?! I thought you said fifTEEN kobolds."

  24. "It'll be a short ocean voyage. One week's worth of food and water will be enough."

  25. "I won't fall in; I just want a better look at what's down there."

  26. "Ochre jelly? Ok, everyone, break out the bread and the peanut butter."

  27. "Quit clowning around. Look, whichever one of you is doing that, it's not funny."

  28. "Hey! Where's my components?"

  29. "For some reason I had always imagined that bugbears were somewhat smaller."

  30. "A trap? That's exactly what we're supposed to expect. I think this DM is more imaginative than that."

  31. "After what we took, he won't be able to afford an assassin."

  32. "They're usually not aggressive. If we leave it alone, it'll leave us alone."

  33. "Wanna see my new spell?"

  34. "Something's wrong with my d20."

  35. "That was no healing potion! I'm gonna kill that swindler!"

  36. "Ha! That's the oldest trick in the book."

  37. "Hey, Bill, cast a Detect Invisibility, quick. Bill. Bill? Where's Bill?"

  38. "Cover me."

  39. "I think it's asleep."

  40. "Look at the size of those tracks!"

  41. "Can you make out this next rune? It looks like someone spilled coffee on this scroll."

  42. "..23..24..Well, that's the last of his arrows."

  43. "Watch this."

  44. "Well, if I remember correctly, it's AC 7, 3+1 HD, 1d8 damage. Hmm..."
    <scribble> <scribble>
    "I should defeat him around the 4th round and still have about 12.5 hit points left. Ok, let's rock!"

  45. "No problem! I'll just cast a ... whoops, I forgot. I'm just 2nd level, aren't I?"

  46. "Did you see that guy's head? I wonder what did this."

  47. "Damned be him who first cries, 'Hold, enough!'"

  48. "If you cut me down, I will only become more powerful."

  49. "Zoinks! I sure hope that's just Scooby behind me."

  50. "I ain't afraid of no ghost."

  51. "Geez, I'm kind of low on funds. Ok, I'll take 500 gp for the healing potion."

  52. "I bet it's just an illusion."

  53. "Well, at least I tried...?"

  54. "It's only an illusionary red dragon!"

  55. "I'll attempt to patch it up." {...finding a hole in the cargo bay of the orbital shuttle}

  56. "I'll cut the red wire."

  57. "Hey, I'll try to hide in shadows." {Room full of Shadows(kind of monster in AD&D)}

  58. a)"I cast a powerball." {inside an elevator}
    b)"I shoot him with my laser." {inside a crowded elevator}

  59. "I cast a hellblast." {at a gas station}

  60. "Let's blow open the airlock."

  61. "I jump from our car into theirs."

  62. "YOU are the UGLIEST guy I've ever seen." {to an 8 foot tall troll}

  63. "What do you mean 'the bullets are just bouncing off'!"

  64. "O.K. pal, take your best shot."

  65. "Let's rush them."

  66. "There's no way they'll ever find us."

  67. "What could possibly go wrong?"

  68. "Him? What is HE doing here? I thought we killed him!"

  69. "I throw a grenade at them." {in the middle of a weapons storehouse}

  70. "Guys, I'm out of ammo."

  71. "I tackle her." {She was a wolf shape shifter in human form}

  72. "Dragon? What dragon?"

  73. "I shoot a missile at one of the Wasps."

  74. "Does anybody in the group have Doc Wagon?"

  75. "A juggernaut? What the hell's a juggernaut?"

  76. "Get him!"

  77. "I give him the finger..."

  78. "He has a threat rating of WHAT ?"

  79. "Guys, there's some giant bugs in the hallway."

  80. "Do you think it's a toxic spirit?"

  81. "What's with that wierdo with the teeth?"

  82. "I put my AK97 under my coat and go to the subway."

  83. "How many teeth does it have?" {character used to make chains of the teeth of his dead opponents}

  84. "'Brak'? That's a stupid name for a barbarian!"

  85. "Blue, no...wait, Yellow! Aaaaarghhhh" {to a bridgekeeper}

  86. "Shit, it's a minefield, leggit !!!"

  87. "Call me Kregor the Undying!"

  88. "Let's split."

  89. "They will flee in terror from my <name of Assault Mech Class>"

  90. "Feel like surrendering ?"

  91. "Give you my T.O.&E ?! Figure it out yourself..."

  92. "It's only infantry."

  93. while rolling dices "Please God, not an ammo explosion..."

  94. "Stupid fool. Tried to scare me by firing LRMs at my feet. I charge right at him." {character standing in a minefield}

  95. "Sure you can use the LRM Carrier platoon in this scenario ."

  96. "Airstrike? Sure.....But I get one too."

  97. "I'll hide my ship near the planet's ring?" {which is where several hundred nuclear missile-equipped automated battlesats were hidden}

  98. "That's an interesting headband you're wearing pilot Smith."
    {kamikaze headband}

  99. "I'm sure reinforcements will get here on time. They promised."

  100. "Say, what's that red dot on your forehead?" {laser sight}

  101. "I'm a vampire. No mortal can kill me."

  102. "What a stupid 'bot." {It was a hunter-killer drone}

  103. "Jamming at full power, they'll never scan through that!!" {enemy used anti-radiation missiles}

  104. "What kind of idiot would set boobytraps in his own home?"

  105. "No, I wasn't reading the module. I was just looking at the pictures."

  106. "Black Ice in Mom and Pop's Grocery?!" {front for money launderers}

  107. "Funny, doesn't *look* like a cyberpsycho...." {but it was one}

  108. "Corporate geek, huh? I throw my beer on his fancy suit!" {Arasaka exec with bodyguards nearby}

  109. "No security force is *that* fast responding."

  110. "I have a very bad feeling about this."

  111. "I'm sure they didn't trace me."

  112. "I throw the grenade..." (Onto a porch less than ten feet away)

  113. "We'll let him fire the mortar, he's not to good with a gun."

  114. "Um... I charge the machine gun nest."

  115. "I think I'll rob that place."

  116. "Naah. He's the DM, he never kills PCs."

  117. "I turn the red gem so that the little carving points right at the one on the wall above it. Then I rotate the ..."

  118. "No, you idiot, they can't hear us crawling around out here!" {yelled to another PC}

  119. "So they have a tank...big deal! I have an M-16!!! I can kill it."

  120. "What do you mean they threw it back ?"

  121. "There is only two left..."

  122. "No, sir. We're gonna protect this fire base. They won't get past us... ...Arc Light ?!?! What do you mean the B-52s are on their way ???" {after being ordered to evacuate a camp that will be attacked in four hours}

  123. "Switch to 2nd Edition? Okay, what the hell..."

  124. "Do something, SCHMUCK !"

  125. "Hey, wow, something that really DOES 'go bump in the night' !"

  126. "One of these must be the right one...just start pushing buttons at random, we'll hit it."

  127. "In my present mood I could cast 'Speak with Dead' and talk to myself."

  128. "Oh, that's just a flesh wound."
    "Ach, is doch nur 'ne Fleischwunde..." {in German}

  129. DM: "You know you're 6' high and sitting on a 3' high horse in a saddle designed to keep you from falling. Now you're charging at full speed into a 7' high cave. What are you going to do ?"
    PC: "Hit my head on the cave roof ?!" {He took a *lot* of damage...}

  130. "I just HAVE to know what that magic trap(/item) does."

  131. "Oh, that bat's not much of a problem." {playing ULTIMA Underworld}

  132. "Let me have this stupid skeleton with my two-handed sword."

  133. "I tell the guard to go fuck himself, but I say it in a nice way."

  134. "I wish all these bloody things were dead." {spoken by a PC wearing a ring of wishes (he didn't know about), the entire party was wounded so they died like two of ten demons they were fighting.}

  135. "You are on my side, aren't you ?!"

  136. "Open that door, slut!" {said by PC to another PC(female fighter), she cuts him in two after that}

  137. NPC: "Surrender !"
    PC1: "Don't shoot. I give up, but let this guy(PC2) go, I took him as a hostage..."
    NPC: "Okay, okay, but first of all drop all your weapons!" {said to PC1}
    PC2: {taking out his Heavy Autopistol} "Shall I drop my weapon, too ???"

  138. "Computer, I'd like to register my mutation... It's Machine Empathy."

  139. "Sacrifice...?"

  140. "My Skill? ... Vehicle Operations... Flybot...! ... Oh shit!"

  141. "I'll try to fix it."

  142. "I step back as far as I can." {In an elevator}

  143. "I try to talk to the blob."

  144. "A Communist sticker on the Warbot? ... I'll shoot it off."

  145. "I'll put my head in, and see what's inside."

  146. PC1: "So... who knows how to drive?" {noone knew but they didn't care...}

  147. "You mean this suit is nuclear powered? Get me outta here! ... Guys?"

  148. PC: "Citizen Marks-R reporting treasonous activity in a corridor." "What colour corridor is that, citizen?" {computer} "The corridor? Umm...It's Blue."

  149. "It has an ejector seat? I pull the lever." {in a helicopter-like Flybot}

  150. "Beeping? O.K. I put it back in my holster."

  151. "I'll hold my breath and run through the gas."

  152. "I'd better carry the explosives, I've got demolition skill."

  153. "Oh shit... I'll try to teleport again."

  154. "Umm... Do I have a gas mask?"

  155. "I knock at that door."

  156. "Save vs spell ? Why ? Doesn't matter! I've got a save on a 4." {said it rolled his dice and was disintegrated on a roll of 3}

  157. "I try to resurrect him with this rod."

  158. "Was that rune inscribed on the cage important ?"

  159. "Want some help ?" {said by a magic apprentice}

  160. "Quick !! How does one UNSUMMON a demon lord ?"

  161. "I wonder what this wand does ?" {waving it around}

  162. "Remember that demon that you HAD imprisoned down in the cellar ? Well..."

  163. "I thought lighting the candles around the pentagram was YOUR job."

  164. "I finally shot that owl that's been following you around !"

  165. "By the way, what's the reverse of "summon"?"

  166. "That fire wand only had 25 charges left on it ?!"

  167. "How does one control something once it gets out of the pentagram ?"

  168. "The warding circle for this demon wasn't continuous before, was it ?"

  169. a) "Let's see what'll happen when I mix these two potions together ?"
    b) "I mix the potions and drink."
    c) "I'll mix these potions and see if I can't get a better one..."

  170. "So this wand fires a fireball if I point it at something and say 'Braxat'?"
    { Boom !!!!!! }

  171. "You wouldn't happen to have a banishment spell memorized...?"

  172. "Hey, I bet I can do that better than you can!"

  173. "Oh, that component was worth THAT much ?"

  174. "But this was supposed to be foolproof!"

  175. "I thought you said "Cone of Cold" not "Coin of Gold"!"

  176. "What kind of glue do you use to fix a DragonOrb ?"

  177. "Master, I kind of forgot to feed your familiar." {never seen again}

  178. "What's in this bottle ?" * POP * "Uhh... oh-oh..."

  179. "Sorry about that, Master. I promise I won't wave your wand around again... Hmm...what's this frog doing here ?"

  180. "Is this scroll pronounced 'HAStur HAStur' or 'HasTUR HasTUR' ?"

  181. "Hey, where did I put the top to this Decanter of Endless Water ?"

  182. Master: "Hey, where is my staff of power, you know, the one with the rune on
    it ???"
    Apprentice: "Was that your Staff of Power ? That end table in the den at home needed a new leg and you TOLD me to fix it ..."

  183. "Okay, I put the fire resistance potions in the red bottles, and the cold resistance potions in the blue. Or was it the other way around ??"

  184. "I thought this spell required a 5-sided star..."

  185. "Master, why was this mirror lying faced down on the table ?? Master ??? Gee, where'd he go ? {scratches head}

  186. "We are all out of candles, so I used lanterns to surround the pentacle..."

  187. Apprentice: "Well, Master, I finally managed to learn the enlarge spell. Now, could you please tell me how one gets rid of a 50' big rat ?"

  188. Apprentice: "Excuse me sir but, theoretically, what would happen if someone summoned, oohhh, lets say a major demon from the 376 level of the Abyss ?"

  189. "With this body in my possession I shall now rule the world!!"

  190. "Why does the writing on that book disappear while I am reading it ?"

  191. "That nice wizard from across town paid me

    2000gp to deliver this box to you... Me thinks -- It must be some kind of clock !"

  192. "Let me control this steering-wheel now."

  193. PC hires NPC to be a spy; PC is in contact with NPC via walkie-talkie :
    NPC:"I see it coming...aaargllhhhh" {sough}
    PC :"What do you mean 'aaargllhhhh'? Hey man, I've paid for this."

  194. DM:"All of you successfully hit the dragon. It doesn't do anything."
    PC:"You mean it doesn't even wake up?"
    DM:"Suddenly, from behind you a *living* white dragon..."

  195. DM:"You crash through the door and find about 10 goblins. They look surprised."
    PC:"I say, 'Boo'!"

  196. "Come on, there's no such thing as a sword made of arsenic..."

  197. "It probably just wants to be friends."

  198. "Don't worry, what are the odds of rolling a 1 on a d20 ?"

  199. "It doesn't look like anyone is hiding in here."

  200. "Aw, come on. I'm sure he's forgotten about that last time."

  201. "I light the torch. What do you mean there is a sizzling sound ?"
    -* BOOM *-

  202. "I'll kill that sucker if it's the last thing I do." {It was...}

  203. "I hear a clic-clac? OK, I'll do a fast peek, like in Miami Vice. Those guys never got shot."

  204. "I bet this is not under current."

  205. "Come on, there are more good mutations than defected ones."

  206. "Who cares about f*king telepathics. Lets torch him."

  207. "I know how to handle a flame thrower."

  208. "I'm so tired. I'll sleep during my watch tonight. Nothing will happen."

  209. "I never fall asleep during guard jobs."

  210. "I want my reward."

  211. "I wake up quickly!"

  212. "Bugger! Failed my Intelligence test."

  213. "YES! A naked maiden in the woods, I just have to take a look."
    {...visit the nymph...}

  214. a) "Anything but a fumble now...."
    b) "What do you mean I fumbled ?"

  215. "I am not getting short-changed by this guy."

  216. "Let this Alien Queen come in. We'll roast her with our flamers...What do you mean 'no oxygen in the atmosphere' ?"

  217. "Ok, since I am going to die anyway, I pull the pins off all the grenades on my body..."

  218. "You must be kidding! No?"

  219. "Are you sure this female goblin could do 6 points of damage with flail ?" {He had only 5 points.}

  220. "Don't worry! I still have a dagger attack."

  221. "Come on, do you really think they could throw a grenade through that small window ?!"

  222. "I don't care. I'm taking a bath right now."

  223. "Hey, wake up, they're coming... For Heaven's sake, WAKE UP!"

  224. "No retreat, no surrender!"

  225. "Hey scumbag, we'll do it my way, or I'm gonna have to kill you."

  226. "Turn !!!" {to bone golem}

  227. "Sure, give me 5 cards." {from the Deck of Many Things, being offered by a man in black robes}

  228. "Look, you're on top of a building, you behind cover, he is firing full auto. There is no way he can hit you."

  229. "While my elemental is attacking, I'll cast Magic Missile..."
    {to which the elemental attacked him}

  230. "What do you mean the skull is floating in the air?" {Demilich float}

  231. "Hey, she's female. Don't worry, this GM never has female villains."

  232. "My Character is being careful."

  233. "Isn't the rope double-secured up there!?"

  234. "A cute looking koala with a WHAT!? THEY can't use Kalashnikovs, no!?"

  235. "That auto-targeting laser can't hit me! I have human reflexes."

  236. "Don't worry. This is just another empty room."

  237. "Hey man, they're just two lousy orcs..." {He never saw ogres before.}

  238. "This trap only hits one time. Trust me, I'm sure."

  239. "Elves don't die. They live eternally." {Not this one, of course}

  240. "Shit. Why did I slay the healer ?"

  241. "NOOO, don't touch anything inside..."* BOOM * {inside a laboratory}

  242. "I can banish this demon."

  243. GM: "You encounter some goblins."
    Party: "BANZAIIII" [charge]
    GM: "Hmm, didn't I say, they're 84."

  244. "Don't worry. This ship won't sink with this little water inside."

  245. "Come on you cowards. This guy is dead since hundreds of years."
    [kneeling near a skeleton]

  246. "Wait. Let me first look through the keyhole." [a trapped one]

  247. "What do you mean 'No reaction' ? I hit him again harder !"

  248. "Don't worry. With the amount of modifiers you've got there's no way he'll hit you."

  249. "He just fell off the 10th floor? I run over and catch him."

  250. "Live and let live ? Yeah, right!"
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