Canonical List of Famous Last Words


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  1. "I guess this has to be the location shown at the map. But what the means this title 'M_NEFI__D'" *BOOM* {bad luck it was a minefield}

  2. "Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix."

  3. a) "I ensure you that this rope is robust enough to help you in climbing down the canyon."
    b) "Don't worry, this rope will hold."

  4. "Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there."

  5. "What happens if you touch these two wires tog..."

  6. a) "Don't worry, it's not loaded."
    b) "Are you sure its not loaded ?"

  7. "I want revenge !"

  8. "Wanna have more ?"

  9. "I've beaten you once and I can do it again."

  10. "No problem at all. I've a +20 modifier on Detect Traps."

  11. "What a big rock in the ceiling ahead. Is it fixed there ?"

  12. "Grimmtooth ? Not this one."

  13. "I'll take a quick bath in this pool." {full of acid}

  14. "I wake him up."

  15. "You wizard don't have the 'Analyze Potion' spell. Okay, I will take a smell at it."

  16. "Let me take a closer look on the medusa..."

  17. "They are chaotic evil ? That's great, we're chaotic evil, too. So there will be no problem with alignments."

  18. PL: "Hi, my name is Hurga the Immortal."
    DM: [smiling] "I hope you have an Hurga the Immortal II worked out..."

  19. "I can kill everything. What is it ?"

  20. "I disbelieve the pit's existence and walk over it"

  21. "How about a riddle contest?" {facing a dragon}

  22. "They're only squirrels. Come on, lets' go." {hungry ones}

  23. "17,000 miles? That's ridiculous - I can't believe someone would go that far only to kill me!"

  24. "This does have a safety catch, doesn't it?" {Nope.}

  25. "OK, I'll leap out, open the outer airlock door, and then jump back inside and close the inner hatch...will I get a negative to my DEX roll?"

  26. "This poor creature...I have the skill animal-care. I'll help that horse."
    {This 'horse' was a terrible mixture between a horse and a lion.}

  27. "We should have no problems with the werewolves. I've got a ring of healing." {lycanthrophy is hard to heal in Ravenloft}

  28. {in a dockside inn}
    PC1: "I call him a reptile's hemorrhoid" {to a dock-worker}
    GM : "Eight people stand up."
    PC1: "Can I get out the door ?"
    PC2: "I block the door."

  29. GM: "Don't let Odin see this ugly act."
    PC: "F*ck this damned Odin !"

  30. "Ok, I'll run through his prismatic sphere, and attack."

  31. "A child could have done it!"

  32. "The odds were on *my* side."

  33. "Those fools are wasting ammunition! They couldn't hit the broad side of a barn at this distance..." *thud*

  34. "I'll cast darkness to get away from the bats."

  35. GM: "A kind of sizzling sound seems to come from a small hole in the wall."
    PL: "I try to close it with a glutinous strip."
    (inside an enterprise known for producing nerve gas for military usage)

  36. "Don't worry. The thief's stupid. She won't know we're using her for a Polish Mine Detector."

  37. PL: "I go and help the wizard."
    GM: "So you disturb the circle of diamond dust around the pentacle."

  38. "We're no wimps to hide inside at night !"

  39. "What do you mean the townspeople are upset that we killed the mayor?"

  40. GM: "Uh. After killing one wolf the 99 others aren't really too fazed."

  41. "What do you mean save versus Turn to Stone?"

  42. "Okay guys, what we need to do is ........ROLL REALLY WELL !!!"

  43. PL: "How long am I going to be stunned for?"
    GM: {smiling} "...the rest of your life."

  44. "Hey, I know, that you're evil!" {after casting a detect-evil on a red

  45. Priest:"Okay, God, you wanted it this way."

  46. "I don't know which kind of tree this one is, but we're safe." (in a thunderstorm)

  47. "Die!!!" {But he had a ring of spell turning.}

  48. "Ok, I make friendship with this baby cardonian."

  49. "Don't shoot, it's me."

  50. "HA ! We killed all the hostages anyway!"

  51. "Don't worry, he is the recon expert..."

  52. "The window isn't open, so he couldn't have gotten out, he must be still be in here." {absolutely right}

  53. "I reach my hand into his pocket. What do you mean it's a bag of devouring ?"

  54. "I take a deep breath."

  55. "Pattern on the floor? What pattern ? Oh, that pattern!" {Amber}

  56. "What do you mean my weapon was made by the cheapest contractor?"

  57. (a demon shows up)
    PC: "Who did you ask for? Oh Shit!!!"

  58. "What does scroll of stupidity do? duh?"

  59. "What do you mean you got the spell wrong or backwards ?"

  60. "So how many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb ?"
    (PC to another PC while sitting in a Klingon bar)

  61. "So where is that local woman I'm supposed to wrestle ?"
    {after drinkin' a fifth of vodka, was supposed to wrestle a polar bear
    and fool around with a local girl, but he got it confused.}

  62. "I break the end of the oxygen cylinder off and aim it at the enemy!"

  63. "So what is a mind flayer, oh that is a mind flayer..."

  64. "We're HOW close to a super nova ???"

  65. "Okay, who turned out the lights ?"

  66. "What do you mean it the 'snow crash' hypercard, what does that mean?"

  67. GM: "This is your last chance to get out from under this girder."
    PL: "The others aren't helping, are they?"
    GM: "Nope."
    PL: "OK, I'll use my pyrokinesis on Lucky's nuclear reactor to blast it off..."

  68. "It's's gotta be safe."

  69. "Let's all go in; he wouldn't kill the whole party at once."

  70. "Watch this and be envious!" {right before climbing up a ten foot wall, falling down putting himself in a coma, died later on - bad luck }

  71. Dwarf:"Hey, elf, what does this message on the metal plaque at the be- ginning of the tunnel say ?"
    Elf(smiling):"Walk in single file down the corridor, keeping to the left."
    Dwarf:"Okay, me first..."
    {Gnomish message - elf didn't know Gnomish}

  72. "Hey, this hole in the ceiling wasn't there the last time, was it ?"
    {after that a purple worm came out of that hole}

  73. "A spell of aging? Come on, I'm an Elf!!"

  74. "He doesn't look like a barbarian."

  75. DM: "You detect massive launches of missiles from the surface heading toward the ship. You're in the path..."

  76. "What's it gonna do? Bleed on me ?" {about a badly wounded Alien warrior the kind with acid for blood...}

  77. "I suppose a good death is better then bad roleplaying."

  78. {PC is facing a big dragon}
    GM: "You CAN run away."
    PC: "No, I can't."
    DM: "Your psychlim is moderate."
    PC: "No, it ain't."
    DM: "Yes, it is."
    PC: "Used to be, My overconfidence is much higher now."

  79. "The mithril arrowheads are mine! The elves OBVIOUSLY wanted me to have them !"

  80. "Ok, I'll drink my self-made healing potion."

  81. "What do you mean I'm the only one who survived the first combat round ?" {but he didn't decide to flee}

  82. "I put on the necklace I took from that skeleton." {Necklace of Strangulation, removable only by wish spell or when person is a skeleton}

  83. "What 10,000 gp I borrowed ?!" {said to a barbarian who liked his gold}

  84. "I'm a wizard. I don't need to be able to swim. I will fly !" {fumble}

  85. PC1: "Help me, I'm in deep trouble. Hey, Argan, it's your turn, you owe a lot of money you borrowed."
    PC2(smiling): "Not any longer, I guess..."

  86. "I go back by myself to look at those pretty yellow flowers I saw back there." {Yellow Musk Creeper}

  87. "I jump down into the river to see how deep it is."

  88. "Take the other end of this rope and we'll trip the dragon as it runs through the doorway."

  89. "You? A GOD? Sure, right, then strike me down with lightning!"

  90. "I could have sworn that statue didn't register when I did detect magic."

  91. "Don't worry fellas, it's not a real dragon. It's just a skeleton of one."

  92. "Okay, let's see if I loaded this thing right."

  93. "Was that all ?"

  94. "Damn, I KNEW I'd forgotten something..."

  95. "Nothing ever happens on the first level of the dungeon!"

  96. "I didn't know there were rules for weapons breaking..."

  97. "Reload ? Nah, I've still got 5 shots in the mag."

  98. "Wiz, put the cat out !"

  99. PC1:"I guess this goblin came to taunt and lead us into an ambush."
    PC2:"Yes, obviously. Hopefully there'll be more of them there."
    {there were}

  100. "I stroll past the thieve's guild."

  101. "Hey, there's dead things under here!"

  102. "Well, he's got the arrow point cocked against my temple, so when he lets go of the drawstring, it should just stay there, right?"

  103. "I try to outrun the cops."

  104. "They can't shoot us at this speed!" {while driving away at 35 mph}

  105. "What do you mean this is a one-way street?!"

  106. An ambitious example how to carry a live electrical wire across a river:
    "I put the wire in my mouth and wade through the river."

  107. "How many times do I have to tell you: there's no ghosts here!"

  108. "It's just a magic mouth, right?"

  109. "What was that demon's name. I think... ah, yes... it was-"

  110. "What do you mean there are five more town guard ?"

  111. "I should survive this."

  112. {after surrender of the White dragon}"I release it from my entangle spell"

  113. "I jump after him." {On top of a tower, an evil wizard made his escape by casting Jump}

  114. "I'll stay out here in the light."

  115. "They'll never expect it."

  116. "What do you mean, 'Let's try a frontal assault on those archers'??"

  117. "What do you mean, `He panics, grabs me by the head and throws me to the other side of the room'?!? This guy is supposed to be a scared, shaken, mentally unbalanced nervous wreck!"

  118. Priest:"Are you telling me you are the chosen one?"
    PC :"Did I say that? No, no, you misunderstood me; I just wanted to say..."

  119. "I push him in the pit from behind..."

  120. "They're only trolls, I won't waste a fireball."

  121. "Remember my Helm of Brilliance saves at +4, so it only needs ..."
    {helm failed to save, exploded and killed the whole party}

  122. "You mean I *wasn't* sleeping in my armour ?"

  123. "Thank God for the Computer!"
    {In Paranoia, all religion has been deemed illegal - instant termination}

  124. "Who's got a tinderbox?" {nobody}

  125. "Mayhap, I should not have done that..."

  126. "Don't worry, they can't fire while cloaked."

  127. "Sensor scans show negative, captain."

  128. PC1:"Shields are down to 10%, captain."
    PC2:"Just one more photon torpedo, and he's history..."

  129. "Lower shields as a sign of peace !"

  130. "I'll take this hit like a man to save my action."

  131. "Cut life support to conserve energy."

  132. "Hah! That's six! You're empty, mister!"

  133. "Quick, there's an Ogre over there, hide the gold!" {shouted}

  134. "Why aren't you recording our damage ?"

  135. {in an aircraft}
    PC1:"Blubber-blubber-gaaaaa." {failed SAN check}
    PC2:"Does anyone *else* have Piloting skill?"

  136. GM:"How many hit points did you say you have ?"
    {shaking every dice he owns}

  137. "What do you mean the warranty ran out ?!"

  138. PL {to GM}:"I did not know you owned THAT many dice!"

  139. "What, I thought you had the toll money."

  140. "Sorry Fred, I did not see you behind me."

  141. PC1:"Quick, cast a fireball !!!"
    PC2:"I'm a bloody watermage..."

  142. PC1:"Only a idiot would stick his head out of that window...Hey Mark, stick your head out of that window."

  143. {PC in Imperial uniform meets many armed pirates}
    NPCs:"Who the hell are you..."
    PC :"I'm one of you, last week."
    NPCs:"Then why do you wear that Imperial Officier's Uniform ?"
    PC :"It's not a uniform....its a sweater my mother knitted for me."

  144. a)"Don't worry, I never fumble."
    b)"Don't worry guys, I can't possibly fumble twice in a row."

  145. "Scared? Us? There's ten of us and one of him! Chaaaaarge..."

  146. GM:"Okay, you managed to escape from palace-jail. Now you're in the palace garden. What'll you do next ?"
    PC:"Hiding in this bush. They won't find me there."

  147. GM:"He wants a duty for passing."
    PC:"I pull his beard." { 'He' was a large troll.}

  148. "Okay, Mr. Hal !"
    {to Emperor Hal I., the almighty ruler of the large empire, defender
    of humanity, ...etc}

  149. GM:"The doors are locked and the corridor is filling with water from pipes high on the walls."
    PC:"I'll cut a hole in the ceiling with my monomolecular sword."
    GM:"Okay. The fire-sprinkler pipes which run through the ceiling start spraying water all over the place. There is also a high-voltage electrical cable conduit in the ceiling..." {grin}

  150. "I drop the thermal detonator and duck around the corner."

  151. "We don't negotiate with monsters, we kill them!"

  152. "Maybe I should make up a spare character, just in case."

  153. "I rolled so well on my force field, nothing can touch me."

  154. "Gee, if I had known what a failed bind spell would do I never would have cast it on that Dark Young."

  155. "If you meant the giant elephant statue, why didn't you say so?"

  156. "It always works in the movies."

  157. "You know, I'm actually starting to like this character."

  158. Priest(PC):"Hey, what's the name of this module ?"
    GM :"Death Of A Priest"

  159. "No problem at all. He is 6th level Elven Bladesinger and we're only 5th level, but we're PCs."

  160. "A Sphinx Of Enigma ? Don't worry, she always asks for the solution of the same riddle which I know."

  161. "The spell 'Know Alignment' says she's a Neutral Good Drow."

  162. PC1:"Go talk to it. You're the one with the 18 Charisma."
    PC2:"Okay...Pardon me...Do you have any 'Grey Poupon'?"

  163. "A little japanese kid ? He's called AKIRA ? I don't care..."

  164. "Power ! More Power!"

  165. GM:"The orc peels back the blanket, looks at you, and says 'Din-ner'."

  166. "What the hell is a 'Horror Check'? This ain't Cthulu..."

  167. "What do you bloody well mean it was a 'luck blade'?! Do YOU KNOW what I just wished for ?!"

  168. {PC (bard) to troll}
    "I can sing for you...please don't eat me."

  169. "Look out! I'm coming to save you!"

  170. PC{bard}:"You're not going to believe this, but I sang this song about the King of Cormyr and his mistress, and he was a bit mad..."

  171. "Have you noticed that she gets this huge glow in her eyes right before she's going to kill you?" {about GM}

  172. {Party meets a group of NPCs}
    PC1:"We come in peace."
    PC2:"...and leave in pieces."

  173. "Nah. She's done this to us before. Its just a blue dragon with an illusion of four other heads."

  174. "I wonder what number comes before zero..." {about his life points/wounds}

  175. PC:"It looks like a big worm ? How big ?"
    GM: smiling

  176. Bard-PC:"I'll make a nasty song up about this uncivilized bastard."

  177. Bard-PC:" ? BANZAIIII !!!!"

  178. "It was only a dumb unicorn. Why's the ranger so upset ?"

  179. "The laws of probability say that I should be able to climb this wall like that {snaps fingers}."

  180. PC:"Kill the troll."
    Troll:"I would prefer it if you would cease the hostilities..."
    {player died of shock}

  181. GM:"So you're trying to ride your pony on a swaying rope bridge over a lava pit without the riding proficiency ?!"

  182. {female PC detects someone who behaves suspicious (he is a killer sent to terminate her party!) in a bar. She doesn't know whether he observes her or just find her attractive. She walks up to him.} "Do you like a drink ?"

  183. "We surround them, fellows... hey...?"

  184. "I don't know if I'll make it through this round. Maybe I should have fled."

  185. "Does the spell really require ox blood? Can I substitute some other kind of blood ?"

  186. "We can stop and heal when we get there."

  187. "I'm still pretty sharp. I only had a few beers."

  188. "It's GUARANTEED against breakage!"

  189. "I have to. He insulted me. It's a matter of personal honor."

  190. "This one is hard to hit. No parry this round."

  191. "This is so stupid. I can't believe I'm going to die at the hands of this little gnome."

  192. "I'll try again."

  193. "Am I still bleeding ?"

  194. "Good thing the GM forgot about my curse."

  195. {to GM}"You're shooting a ballista at 1st level PCs?!?"

  196. "Uh oh. How fast can I hack through this wooden ceiling with my sword ?"
    {Wasn't _nearly_ fast enough, but nice idea.}

  197. "Don't worry. The Healers' Guild are all sworn pacifists."

  198. "No trouble, the mothership would have us teleported out of this Section BEFORE the Genestealers will reach us."

  199. "I've just killed six Genestealers in Overwatch, I'll manage it again."

  200. "The inscription says 'Asmodeus was here.' Asmodeus... I haven't heard that name before. Hey, magic-user, do you know who Asmodeus is ?"

  201. "It's just a mirror. Right ?"

  202. "There are no demons in Second edition."

  203. "Dragon turtles can't breath underwater."

  204. "We're using spell fumbles ?!?"

  205. "Gygax modules aren't that killer..."

  206. "What do you mean I'm standing on a big X ?!"

  207. "I set fire to the stage." {in an elven inn}

  208. "Gods don't exist. Here, I'll show you...Odin is a geek! Odin is a geek! Odin is a geek! ... See, nothing happened."

  209. PC :"No captain, there is no-one here, except for the computer speaking."
    NPC:"What is it saying ?"
    PC :"9 ... 8 ... 7 ..."

  210. "What ? It looks exactly like me, except it's made out of luminous blue energy ? It's an illusion. Watch, I'll stick my sword thru it!"

  211. "A red dragon? Aw, the DM wouldn't give us one of those until we're really high level. I disbelieve."

  212. "Woah, I'm really lucky! A chest, no traps, no locks? You gotta be kidding! I open the chest."

  213. DM:"You hear a click."
    PC:"I freeze !"
    {while standing on a pit}

  214. NPC:"I jump down the cliff." {VERY long way down}
    PC1:"I jump."
    PC2:"I leap and grab onto PC1."
    PC3:"Okay, I jump too."
    PC1:"Just before I hit, I'' activate my Feather Fall."
    PC3:"Your what ?"

  215. PC:"What do you mean the brontosaurus surprises us? Where did it come from ?"
    GM:"Well, it was hiding behind the mountain."

  216. PC:{to NPC}"En garde."

  217. "Don't worry. I only fail to save on an ..."

  218. "You obviously don't know who you're dealing with."

  219. "Fireballs don't hurt me."

  220. {to DM}:"Let's talk about what we just saw...."

  221. {to hostile wizard}
    "You thought we wouldn't survive that and come back to you, didn't you ?"

  222. "I'm sure that noone saw us."

  223. "Defend your life, you ugly worm."

  224. "This disease is no lethal one."

  225. "Where the hell did that assassin get a laser-guided triple-barreled crossbow ?"

  226. "Fifty monsters ? Well, half of 'em are kobolds. We can take 'em!"

  227. PC:"There are HOW MANY GNOLLS in that courtyard ?"
    GM:"Well, about 200. Want to stop and count them?"

  228. "Well, I hit him twice. He's probably in bad shape."

  229. "What do you mean there's a shapechanging demon in the party ?"

  230. "I'm a grey elf! I have lots of time!"

  231. "I parry the demon's two-handed sword with my stiletto !"

  232. PC1:"Why is there a moose staring into that bush over there ?"
    {enemy hiding there}
    PC2:"What the heck is a moose doing here ?"
    PC1:"Maybe the attacker turned himself into a moose!"
    PC2:"It's a shapechanging moose!"
    PC1:"I'll cast Charm Person on the moose."
    PC2:"I cast detect magic and look at the moose."
    DM :"You detect no magic on the moose."
    PC1:"It must be a non-detection moose!"
    PC2:"Yeah, a shape-changing non-detection moose!"

  233. NPC:"Beware the unspeakable one!"
    PC :"Oh, you mean Hastur ?"

  234. "Dwarves can't be vampires."

  235. a) "What do you mean there's no saving throw ?"
    b) "There has to be a saving throw!"

  236. "I'm stunned, huh ? Okay, I sit back and drool for a while."

  237. "What do you mean I'm his slave now ?"

  238. "I fly over to the pirate ship."
    {the plate-clad warrior encountered a beholder's Anti-Magic Gaze}

  239. "Hey, the pyramid's glowing. I didn't think it could do that."

  240. "What do you mean the ship is sinking ?"
    {character disintegrated a hole in its bottom}

  241. "That gem must be worth a fortune! I'll grab it!" {a demon's soul gem}

  242. "I'll follow him down the alleyway."

  243. "Stop screwing around with all this sneaky stuff!"
    {character rips window frame off building and climbs in}

  244. "Priests of Orcus aren't that bad, are they ?"

  245. "Cool! Crocodiles!"

  246. "We'll wait in ambush for them here !"
    {they were ambushed themselves}

  247. "I thought you silenced the guard!"

  248. "They have an acceleration of WHAT ?!"

  249. "Wait 'till I flick my bic."

  250. "Ah. Safety jackets are for pussies."
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